What didn’t make it into the story? Today’s snippet theme is Outtakes. I went through a variety of different opening for my book below is a part of one of them. One that didn’t go into the final draft of the stiry. First a slight set up. Jasmine “Jazz” Hamlin, my heroine, is denying that she is attracted to her best friend. This is an unedited excerpt.
A snippet from Conquering Jazz…
Mia made a sound of agreement, then asked, “Still avoiding Reese?”
“I’m not avoiding anyone,” Jasmine mumbled.
“Yeah, right. What’s the harm in admitting you’re attracted to Reese, and then giving him a chance?” Mia queried.
Listening, Reese grinned. He always did like Mia. He would kiss her the next time he saw her.
“I’m not attracted to Reese!” Jasmine yelled.
Mia made a disbelieving sound. “Yeah, yeah. I forgot. It was hot flashes at your young age.” Mia paused.
Reese covered his mouth to stifle his laugh.
Mia continued, “Didn’t the doctor tell you that you weren’t going through the change?”
Jasmine mumbled something he couldn’t hear.
“What?”
Jasmine screamed, “She’s a damned quack! I know I’m having hot flashes, even if none of you will believe me. See? I’m having one now.”
Mia laughed. “I can see you’re having something, all right. It’s called denial.”
Reese almost applauded. He couldn’t have said it better himself.
“Come on, Jazz. Why won’t you give him a chance?”
Jasmine’s voice was soft. “I can’t lose my friend, Mia. I just can’t”
Reese cut off a curse. If she had said anything but that, he would have gone in there and demanded an answer. But he knew what she was thinking.
“Please. You couldn’t lose Reese if you wanted to. He’s not–”
“Don’t say it.” The warning was clear in Jasmine’s tone.
“Okay. I still think you’re wrong. Give him a chance. He might surprise you.” They were quiet for a moment.
“What are your plans for tonight?” Mia asked, sounding closer to the door.
“Not a thing. I’m going home to relax,” Jasmine replied.
Stepping forward, Reese decided the best way to calm Jazz was to play it cool. Since he knew what she was starting to feel, and he had been waiting this long, he could bid his time. He would wait for her to make a move.
He opened the door. “Good. Then our movie night is back on.”
Reese smiled and winked at Mia, who was closest to the door, then turned to smile at Jasmine. He hummed as he waited to see what she would do.
The shocked look on Jasmine’s face was almost worth all the aggravation. He could see her trying to come up with a way to get rid of him. In that instant, Reese realized how much he had rattled her. If she had been thinking clearly, Jasmine would have known that, once he had his mind set on something, he went after it, and nothing stood in his way.
“Unless there’s some reason you’re trying to avoid me,” Reese continued, smiling innocently.
Jasmine’s chocolate brown gaze narrowed. Rocking back on his heels, Reese put his hands in his pockets. He waited for her excuses.
She gripped her bag closer, then continued to walk toward him. “Let’s go.”
Her decision surprised him. Jasmine went through the door without looking back. She turned right, continuing along the long, open area past Mia’s office, then around the corner. He knew she was heading for the private elevator. Making sure she was out of sight, he turned to Mia. Stepping closer, he cupped her face and gave her a peck on the lips.
Reese could tell she was startled, but being Mia, she chuckled, then winked.
“Keep those lips to yourself, buddy.” She tapped him on the cheek. “Unless you mean it.”
She punched him so fast in his stomach with her fist that he didn’t see it coming. Breath whooshed out of him. He didn’t groan, trying to preserve his manly status.
“Then I’ll have to hurt you.”
He turned to look at her as she sauntered out the office door. Mia looked back at him over her mocha shoulder, then grinned. Reese shook his head. Mia was a trip. Rubbing his stomach, he went out the door, looking for Jasmine.
Copyright © McKenna Jeffries, 2008.
All Rights Reserved, Liquid Silver Books
Go to the following sites to check out these other great authors snippets:
Cynthia Eden
Victoria Janssen
Lauren Dane
Leah Braemel
McKenna Jeffries
Moira Rogers
Sylvia Day
Vivian Arend
Mark Henry
Shelley Munro
Jaci Burton
Mandy Roth
Eliza Gayle
Great post, I always like reading about what didn’t quite make it.
[...] Eden Victoria Janssen Lauren Dane Leah Braemel McKenna Jeffries Moira Rogers Vivian Arend Mark Henry Shelley Munro Jaci Burton Mandy Roth Eliza Gayle If you [...]